Manhood

Manhood, by Terry Crews, was originally posted on YouTube on July 19, 2021. Review is now available on Rumble and Podbean or keep reading for the basic gist of it.

Whenever cancel culture tries to cancel someone, I basically go out of my way to buy work supporting that person. Except possibly actual Nazis…not who Antifa say are Nazi’s, but actual swastika sporting fuckrags…I don’t buy their stuff. Anyone else, I will support, because Fuck Cancel Culture.

Now, Terry Crews is a major Hollywood player, but fame can sometimes paint a bigger target on your back. So, in June 2020, when George Floyd was murdered…yes murdered, no one deserves to die like that…. when the outrage over this was at its absolute peak, Terry had the audacity to have A Thought.

From Twitter “Defeating White Supremacy without White people creates Black supremacy. Equality is truth. Like it or not, we are all in this together.”

This did not jive with the BLM movement. And because of this, the cancelati came for him. And because he is a bold man and right with his god, he did not back down.

From Twitter “Any Black person who calls me a coon or and Uncle Tom for promoting EQUALITY is a Black Supremacist, because they have determined who’s Black and who is not.”

Which I admire in anybody. Anyone who has the backbone to stand up to a screaming hoard of cancel harpies is a fucking hero. So of course, I bought his book.

Terry Crews was born on July 30, 1968, in Flint, Michigan. Yes…THAT Flint, MI. He grew up dirt poor, it was not the happiest of childhood homes, there was a lot of domestic violence, with both parents hitting each other, and then mom hit Terry and his siblings. Now, people react to domestic violence in different ways. Terry reacted by wanting to get as far away as possible as fast as possible.

But this desire to get away led to some not so healthy coping mechanisms.

The first one, which he has been very open about, was his addiction to pornography. As young as 10 years old he was escaping his environment by escaping into pornography. Because he was raised in the church, he recognized this was not in keeping with the morals of the church and he felt extreme guilt, making him an extreme people pleaser.

The guild from his porn addiction was weighed out by his desire to please those around him to make up for it. He became the yes guy. He volunteered for everything. Which is not necessarily a bad thing. But when you give so much of yourself saying yes to others that you sacrifice your connections to yourself and your own sense of self, you lose yourself to the yes. Which Terry experienced.

So these two extremes shaped and defined him. And while reading the book, you never read one anecdote without the extreme alter ego making an appearance shortly afterwards.

Terry walks us through really dark lows to the highest of highs, his life has been a genuine roller coaster. He fought so hard for a college scholarship, then walked away from school two months before graduating because he was so sure he was getting drafted to the NFL. He WAS drafted, but what a crazy thing to do!

The ups and downs are a running theme throughout the book and so is his major supporter, his wife Rebecca, who tried her best to keep him grounded. They met when he was like 19 and she was like 21 or 22.  She already had a daughter who became Terry’s daughter when they married.

This book is as much a lover letter to Rebecca as it is a confessional for Terry. And interspersed throughout the story are some amazing life lessons, not just about being a man, but about life in general, lessons I just found myself nodding along with and agreeing with as I read them.

Not explicitly stated is the importance of finding a good partner to go through life with. Too many people rush into marriage and Terry did, but was blessedly lucky to find himself a good woman early in life, one who took her vows seriously and stayed with him through all the growing pains it took to make him the man he is today.

I really liked this book, the writing style is engaging, he has a strong voice. Some of his early stories broke my heart, and it soared when he scored his first contract with the NFL. It’s a roller coaster to read, but was quite well done. It hits on so many life lessons. I really recommend this book to anyone who is struggling with growing up and accountability, because ultimately you do have to accept responsibility for your actions.

And Terry does that. In spades. Forged in fire and he walked out the other side.