Mind Hacking Happiness Volume I: The Quickest Way to Happiness and Controlling Your Mind

This week, I am still in my quest to find happiness, making this week’s book of the week Mind Hacking Happiness Volume I: The Quickest Way to Happiness and Controlling Your Mind by Sean Webb.

So, a lot of what he’s teaching in this book smacks of Stoicism. Which I’m fine with, I loved Meditations by Marcus Aurelius and Loki knows we could all use a little break from the insanity that has become 21st Century America. But how do you do that? How do you just turn it off? That’s what I wanted to know. And he goes into that!

Logically, as someone who has followed the idea of stoic philosophy, even if not a self-described stoic myself, I understand that you can’t control how the people around you behave. You can only control how you react to the situation. And if you are easily offended, you are easily manipulated. Both very Stoic ideals. But understanding that and actually controlling your reactions are two very different things. So how do you control your reactions?

Webb spends a significant portion of the book breaking down how and why it is entirely possible to do just that. Basically…. Everything we think, feel, and do, is a result of our minds. But more than that, it’s a clash with our ego, what he dubs {self} in brackets.

And he breaks down how {self} is tied up in this. Anything that ever bugs you ever….is because your mind is telling you it bugs you. And you are more than capable of ignoring your mind. And he tells you how to do that. Which I’ll get back to in a few minutes. How different things in your life directly affect {self}…everything from your children to your favorite sports team, to a political ideology, can be tied up in {self} and the more power you give each of those things, the more impact it’s going to have on you.

See {self} is responsible for creating all your own bullshit. That’s almost a direct quote from the book. Which makes perfect sense. If your mind is in control of things, then your mind is telling you how to respond. Your mind can also tell you what to ignore. If you take control and tell your mind you will no longer be bothered by X, Y, and Z. Because if the bullshit is all in your head, then so is happiness. So, which would you rather focus on? I spent the last several months focusing on all the dark, depressing things governments do to the people they purport to protect. No wonder I’ve been in a dark and depressing place.

Why does taking control of your mind matter? How does knowing the bullshit is all on you help? Webb spends an entire chapter about how most of the world’s religions include injunctions to Know Thyself! A thought that was certainly echoed in Gad Saad’s book last week, those were not just words carved on the temple at Delphi, like…ALL the world’s religions discuss how taking control of the mind brings you closer to God…. whoever that might be for you. Basically, it’s finding the quiet stillness inside that lets you take charge.

 So, taking all of what I just said, basically the knowledge I’ve been acquiring of history and the great evils that governments are full capable of inflicting on their own people, resulted in me feeling fear, anger, AND sadness, leaving very little room for happiness. How do I know that? Well, I read this book, to start with. And while I knew, logically, that all of this comes back to me, because as of yet, the government has not actually done anything to me, and frankly censorship is far more likely to come from our Google Overlords, which means the only source of my misery HAS to be me, that still left me trying to figure out what to do about that. Acknowledging the source of this misery is me is not quite the same as stopping it in its tracks. Or is it?

I mean, how do you take back control of your mind after spending a few months submersing yourself in darkness? Fortunately, Webb provides an answer to that question too. Start by naming the emotions you’re feeling, or as he says Name It-Tame It, which comes from a study by Matt Liebermann from UCLA. Just identifying what your feeling can stop it in its tracks.

So how do you identify it? Like how do I specifically identify that I was feeling fear, anger, and sadness? Well, he spends a chapter breaking down what is actually going on when you’re feeling anger, fear, sadness…and happiness. He does direct you to his website, mindhackinghappiness.com for OTHER emotions, but he hits the big ones in the book.

Fear is “the emotional response that occurs when your mind perceives a threat to {self}. Do I feel threatened by a government so run amok it would talk about disarming its citizens and locking them up for disagreeing with a narrative? Well…yes. Who wouldn’t?

Anger is “the emotional reaction that occurs when your mind perceives an attack on {self}. Hell, I started this book review journey as a result of the 2020 elections. Not that Biden won, that was damn near inevitable, given how divisive Trump was made out to be in the media. But in the weeks just prior to his election, a “friend” was complaining about how she wasn’t really a fan of Biden either, but he was better than the alternative. I pointed out that there was, in fact, another Jo running…meaning Jorgenson of the Libertarian Party. And I was told…paraphrasing here…that I was the worst person ever for even considering a third-party option when the election was this important. I countered that maybe she was the worst person ever for voting for someone she had no faith in just to spite the other side. As one might imagine, this poste and riposte had no impact on either of us, and we basically don’t talk anymore.

But I was MAD! So, I started this channel out of spite….to read books about how awful governments run amok are and here I am 2.5 years later, slightly less mad but a whole lot more worried. The saying that history repeats itself is not quite accurate. Mark Twain is credited with saying History never repeats itself, but it very often rhymes. Well, as a student of history, I’ve heard this song before. It fucking sucks. Hence my anger over the state of affairs and how idiotically we the people keep voting for the same idiocy.

Anyway, on to sadness. Sadness is “the emotional reaction that occurs when your mind perceives a loss of {self}. Grief is the obvious example, like when someone close to you passes away and that part of them that occupied space in your head is now vacant. So, I’ve been sad over how wretched everything is becoming, how violent and awful people are to each other.

Happiness is only touched on in this book, but specifically addressed in book two, so I’ll have more to report on that next week. But the above are some of what I’ve been feeling. Along with Worry: How will we feed our{selves} when the supply chains collapse? This worry was compounded exponentially by reading post-apocalyptic fiction. I did stop that about three weeks ago, which helped immeasurably.  Stress, which is the result of the unresolved above emotions and is wildly unhealthy for you.

Now, what to do about this? Well as Webb says, it’s time to rebalance the equation. Part of the Science of Happiness, and how you hack your way out of misery, is rebalance the scales of what you’ve been feeling. Something as simple as reframing a negative in a positive light can help tremendously. You have to balance your expectations/preferences of a situation against the perception of what’s happening to get the emotional response.

My dishwasher has been leaking under my kitchen sink for a few months, which went unnoticed until we started to get mold in our cabinets. Not black mold, fortunately, just mold. But still. We now have a kitchen remodel to do. My preference, obviously, would be to not have to rip up my flooring and remove the subflooring and replace all my tiling. My perception of this is that it will be expensive and a pain in my ass. This elicits the emotional response of irritation (what a pain in the ASS) and worry (how will this be paid for?)

How do you reframe such a colossal clusterfuck of “why God is this happening to me” into a positive experience?

I don’t HAVE to remodel my kitchen. I get to. So, we’re using this opportunity to rearrange the layout, adding more cabinets and a pantry actually in the kitchen. Getting a better stove, and a better dishwasher…well obviously. So now instead of being irritated about the process, I’m excited for the new space we’re creating.

What about the expense? Cause it is expensive to remodel anything. Here’s how I reframed that in my head: I’m actually quite lucky. See, the husband spent a year as a general handyman at a small apartment complex, which means we don’t have to hire labor to replace the flooring or hang the kitchen cabinets, or tile a new backsplash. He knows how to do those things. The money to buy all these things is still a hurdle, but we have options. We can see if we qualify for a 0% interest card at Big Box Store. We can refinance our house…which is my least favorite option because of how high interest rates are but is a viable option. I can take a 401K loan, which is not bad, since I then pay myself back with interest, which helps the 401k to grow. Or maybe a small loan from the Bank of Mom and Dad. So instead of worrying about the money, I’m now lucky I have so many options available to me.

Changing my expectations and perception of what’s happening rebalanced the equation to something more positive. At least…I think I got that analogy correct.

So, there’s one tiny thing you can do to make yourself happier. Instead of always looking at the darkness, pull a Monty Python.

But wait, there’s more! Webb goes beyond just identifying feelings, he does include how you can make it easier for your {self} to take a backseat to meta-awareness, where in you actually take control of your mind. And not gonna lie…I already knew the answer. It’s just a life skill I’ve been putting off learning for a very long time.

The best thing you can do is…. Meditate. I once started Meditation for Dummies. I did not finish. I do not know why. But meditation is the top skill you can learn to help quiet your brain down so you can listen for whatever God voice speaks to you. Or just to the universe in general if you’re an atheist. No reason meditation can’t work for atheists. But meditation has been practiced for literally thousands of years and, along with knowing yourself, is mentioned in every major religious text. So, meditation is a solid way to go. But he also provides alternatives if meditation is not your cup of tea.

Journaling can serve a similar function, under the name it, and tame it school of thought. Writing out what you’re feeling gives those feelings voice. Sometimes, they just want to be heard.

Exercise helps. Also, one I was not surprised by and was happy to see on the list, since I’ve been meaning to start back at the gym. Actually, designated Monday as the day. Which a lot of people say, but I’ve actually scheduled time for this, so hopefully I’ll make it there.

Diet helps. To no one’s surprise…. Well ok, to no sane person’s surprise, what you put in your body can have a massive impact on your happiness levels. If all you feed yourself is garbage well…there’s an old programming lingo that says garbage in garbage out.

Sensory Deprivation Tanks. And bonus points if you meditate in a float tank, apparently, you can see the face of God. So, kind of excited to try that one.

Finally, forgiveness and compassion. Which I get. The only person you hurt by holding a grudge is you. Doesn’t mean you have to let someone back into your life, that’s a different topic of discussion and depends on you and the person, and the circumstances. But he does explain the power of forgiveness and having compassion for others, and how this can help bring you happiness. I don’t hold a grudge against my friend who basically compared me to the anti-Christ for voting third party. I understand she was and probably still is, deep in trump-derangement fear spiral. It’s cool. But I still don’t necessarily want her around me. Because hey…. It’s not everyone who can say yeah, I know exactly who put my name on the deportation list. Unless our government goes open book after the fact, like East Germany did after the wall fell. But that’s a past book.

This book was originally reviewed on YouTube on August 13, 2023, but is now available on Rumble and PodBean.