The Saad Truth About Happiness: 8 Secrets for Leading the Good Life
This month, I am struggling to reinfuse a little serotonin into my brain after the last couple months of very dark reading material, so we’re starting out with Gad Saad’s latest book, The Saad Truth About Happiness: 8 Secrets for Leading the Good Life.
Generally speaking, I avoid self help books because I have found…again generally speaking…that the only person they help is the author…it helps their wallet grow immensely. And the only reason I bought this one is because I am a fan of Dr. Saad’s. And it did not surprise me in the least that he seems to share my disdain for the self-help industry and did not actually write a self-help book. The Saad Truth is not generic advice about exercise more, put the pills down, find a better job. Some of that is in there, but not in the usual cheerleader-y context of a self-help book.
I’m explaining this badly. Let’s start with step 1.
The first secret for leading a good life is to find the right spouse. Which is an excellent place to start. All too many people marry Mr. or Ms. Right Now, rarely looking at the big picture of “how genuinely compatible are we?” Physical compatibility is only the tiniest part of a happy marriage. Far more important is the ability to talk to your partner. Having things in common. If the only thing in common is sex, well…. everyone ages. Time is an inevitability and looks fade. Unless you are a mega star who can afford top notch plastic surgeons. The vast majority of us are not. He also talks in here about aging gracefully, although I don’t specifically remember the context of the passage. But think about it. Most of us spend 8 hours working. Which means 16 hours NOT working. 8 hours sleeping. Who are you spending the remaining 8 waking hours with? Is it someone you genuinely like? Or do you only like them right now?
He did not go into the whole is it better to live with someone before marriage, there is a ton of research out there for both sides of that argument. I was with my husband for 15 years before we married. And the decision not to marry for that long was a mutual decision. We were always in agreement on that, and on when to actually get married. We always had a mutual liking and respect for each other and when we argue, we’re looking for a solution to the problem, not sniping at each other to score points. If your relationship is predicated on scoring against your partner, then that is not a happy partnership. Reddit is riddled with stories of relationships like that. So, pick the right spouse. Don’t settle for what you can find, but you also don’t have to kick everyone for the curb for not being “perfect.” Because trust me, you aren’t perfect either. Find someone who you can work through problems together with. You’ll be much happier.
The second secret is working in the right profession. 8 hours a day is spent at work, right? Do you want to spend 8 hours a day for the rest of your life doing something you loathe? Now, this doesn’t mean quitting your job right this second and go on unemployment while pursuing your life long passion of being an underwater basket weaver. But do find a profession that you find fulfilling and brings some meaning to your life. If you are in a profession you currently dislike, DO start doing what it takes to switch career’s. If that requires additional training, use some of the time you’re not at work to get that training and education.
Seeking the sweet spot: finding moderation across many domains. Turns out, there is such a thing as too much of a good thing. Dr. Saad spends a whole chapter breaking down the inverted U curve and why it matters. All things in moderation leads to happiness. Have the occasional dessert. But having cake for breakfast, lunch, and dinner will likely have deleterious effects on your health in the form of weight gain, energy crashes, general feelings of malaise, bloating. So, find moderation in life, don’t overdo it.
Next is engaging in life via a playful mindset. People take life very seriously, and it’s not meant to be lived that way. There are definite moments for seriousness, but by and large, learn to laugh at yourself. Afterall, no one gets out alive. So have fun while you’re here on planet earth.
Pursuing variety seeking at times, across many domains. Variety is the spice of life and if you feel like you’re in a rut, change it up a little bit! Try new foods, try a different beverage, try reading outside your usual genre. Before I started on this journey through my library, while I HAD all these non-fiction books, I almost exclusively read fiction, always intending to “Someday read” my non-fiction collection. Well, what if someday never comes? Maybe you need to start small with your variety. Instead of pepperoni pizza, you get sausage. Instead of always making the annual vacation to magical mouse palace you decide to go to the Grand Tetons and touch some grass. But, referring back to secret three, seek variety in moderation. Change for changes sake can lead you down a dark road…. like spending three months reading about communism, woke culture, and survival.
Ensuring that one is persistent in the pursuit of meaningful goals. What is meaningful to you? How persistent are you in achieving that goal? I’ve been in a dark headspace these last few months because of what I’ve been reading, never focusing on the fact that, while the material itself is awful, I am actually achieving a goal I set myself of one book a week. There are some people who struggle to read one book a year, not because they don’t want to read more but because they have a hard time reading period. I am doing amazing at my self set goal of one book a week. Hell, I REVIEW one book a week, but depending on my fiction reading, I can read as many as four books a week. So…am I persistent in following a meaningful goal? Yes. However, another meaningful goal I have is to exercise more. It’s not even about wanting to lose weight, although that would certainly be an appreciated side effect. For me, that is about chasing serotonin, since exercise does boost serotonin naturally. But I’ve been having a hard time motivating myself to do just that. So, one step I can take towards happiness is pursuing THAT meaningful goal.
Being anti-fragile when dealing with failure. Ok, I feel like I have a good handle on this one. Life has not always handed me what I wanted, and that’s not always a bad thing. I’ve been turned down for jobs I thought I desperately wanted and am now quite grateful I didn’t get. I had my business that I was running pre-covid, that went down in flames as a result of the pandemic, and…well let’s just say I am not enamored these days with what would be my customer base. So, am I glad I don’t have to kiss that particular set of asses for sales? Yes…. yes I am. For more on anti-fragility, I highly recommend Gad Saad’s Parasitic Mind, he covers in detail the dangers of victim mentality that is being propagated and sold whole cloth these days. But mostly, feelings of failure certainly lead to darkness and depression. And there is no need for that. Rather than framing any one situation as “I failed” frame it as “what did I learn from this experience?” I learned from my failed job applications that Those jobs were not the right fit for me. That who I am would not have been served by those positions. I know that I wanted those jobs for the prestige of saying I worked for X company…not Elon Musk’s X, but just X in general. I would be miserable in those positions, while my current job is wonderfully flexible. And as for the failed business, yes that sucks, but you know what else sucks? Depending on people you genuinely dislike buying your products. That also sucks. Because eventually, they’re gonna figure out you’re only pretending to like them. You can only fake authenticity for so long. Much better to do as the Oracle at Delphi advised 2000 years ago: Know Thyself. I’m great at sales. If I like my customers.
Minimize future regret by living an authentic life. There’s that authenticity again. Generally speaking, the vast majority of people regret the things they didn’t do, rather than the things they did. And this actually ties into the idea of seeking variety, too. Are you going to regret visiting magical mouse kingdom eight years in a row? Or will you regret never seeing earth’s natural beauty? Which will you regret more: buying the overpriced designer handbag that will be out of season next year? Or not going to Paris because you had to choose between the designer handbag or the City of Lights? Life is all about opportunity costs. Possessions are a temporary thing. Experiences last a lifetime in your memory. Which would you rather have?
So those are his secrets for happiness, which is not as self-help-y as one might have expected from a book subtitled 8 Secrets for Leading the Good Life. This book was good, I used examples from my life to narrate the points he’s making, but of course Dr. Saad uses examples from his own life to highlight his points, which are always excellent because he has led a pretty storied life.
This book was originally reviewed on YouTube on August 6, 2023, but is now available on Rumble and PodBean.
